Katie's Korner

New Beginnings

It's time for me to start my new book (not just a new chapter) to rediscover Katie and what makes her heart happy.  A few weeks ago, I decided to re-enter the workforce as a full time paraprofessional.  I love working with kids with special needs and they have always had a special spot in my heart.  I'm currently working with the post-secondary students with ASD in our district and I have an amazing mentor/teacher and another great co-worker who have made me feel so welcome in their community.  I'm enjoying this change of pace; both a new age range that I have never worked with and as a paraprofessional, not the teacher.  It's been a great way to ease back into working and to still be impactful with these amazing students.

It's hard for me to wrap my head and heart around this new book's theme but it's here and I'm hoping that by sharing my journey, I may be able to help someone else feel less alone or find some comfort in knowing that someone else is going through this big life transition.  With mixed emotions, I am in my official single mom era (hopefully the official divorce will be settled on the 8th).  It's been a long-time coming and it's what's best for us to provide the kids with a good role model of leaving a toxic relationship in search of a healthy, mutually beneficial, and supportive relationship.  The kids have been involved in a lot of the process to help me find our new home in an apartment for the meantime and helping me to create their ideal home life situation with this new stage of our lives.  Naturally there are a lot of big emotions associated with this life-changing transition but the kids have always been my main focus/priority and always will drive my decisions.  I need them to know that their mom will always love them and be there for them no matter what.  I have decided to do apartment living for about a year in order to have my own safe space and give me time to grieve this life change and work on healing myself on my own without his interference as well as to have time to house hunt.  (So if you are local, let me know if you have any good leads on any houses nearby!)  This whole process with the big emotions has led me to be more withdrawn from everyone and leaning on my relationship with God to help me know that He won't give me anything that I can't handle.  I'm tired of being tested but I know that He has something amazing in store for me so I'm holding onto my faith in this transition time.  My children have brought me so much peace and love during all of this and I am looking forward to sharing some amazing new memories with them.  Thank you to those of you extra special people who have been there for me every single step of the way and have provided me with a safe place to process all of this! <3 

Making each moment count

As part of my journey of healing, I have been focusing more on mindfulness.  Mindfulness involves being present in the moment and observant of one's surroundings without any judgement.  It relies heavily on how aware one is of their thoughts, feelings, sensations, and their surroundings.  These days, it's so easy to get sucked into the face-paced world and this compulsion to multitask and to get more "things" done.  However, I have realized that it has simply given more and more of us a feeling of attention deficit and pressure to have so many things done.

Here are a few ways that I have been more mindful in my daily life:

  • Listening to some music and focusing solely on the lyrics and the message of the song (sometimes I watch the lyrics light up to keep focused)
  • When brushing my teeth, reading positive affirmations on my mirror to help ground myself and inspire great feelings of motivation
  • While washing dishes, I put on some loved music and sing while powering through some of the dishes
  • I use music as a timer often and tell myself that I'm going to work on a given task just for the length of a song or two
  • When I take my shower, being at peace with the silence and simply focusing on each shower task with purpose and intention
  • Sitting at a stop light, I make the point to look around me and if I can make eye contact, a smile and wave!
  • Taking a prayerful moment and intentionally asking God to protect each loved one with a specific request

It's still a work in progress but I do feel so much better carving out specific mindful moments throughout my day!

Multitasking vs Mindfulness

I've been spending a lot of time reflecting on my life.  I have a lot to be thankful for and I have so many blessings and miracles that I am fortunate to surround myself with on a daily basis!  Recently, I have been spending some quality time reflecting on multitasking vs mindfulness.  For a while, I thought that the more things I could be multitasking with, the more productive I would feel in the end because I would seemingly get more tasks "done"/checked off.  In the evenings, I would pride myself on my ability to work on a project (typically diamond art something), watch tv, respond to messages, and enjoy a snack (sometimes more things)! I would flow between the different activities as the time suggested shifting.  However, over time I realized that I felt anxious despite completing things and I began to wonder if maybe I should be doing more things to be more productive and the spiral of negative thoughts ensued.  In the last 3 years, I have developed a strong relationship with my meditation practices and I truly find so much value in the times that I can completely immerse myself in the meditations.  On an average day, I get in at least two 7-10 minute meditation sessions and it helps me to reset and balance myself out.  I can't encourage others enough of the value of meditation and breath work.  It has been a main staple in my healing journey.

That being said, I'm coming to realize that a new healthier habit is beginning to emerge as I tweak and reflect how I approach my less structured time.  For me, the art of being present and remaining present has been better represented by my focus on one task at a time.  This allows me to put forth as much of my energy as possible to quickly and efficiently completing the chosen task.  Then, I reward myself with a brief time of a "fun" activity (lately has been working on some of my diamond art projects or coloring) and have another less desirable task lined up and ready to follow and remind myself that I can come back to something fun again soon!  It has also helped me to be more focused and directed with my less desirable tasks (usually chores); I'm able to focus and get it done so I can get back to "relaxing"!  

Obviously everyone is different and I still multitask but I try to be more calculated with what activities I multitask with while reminding myself, "How will this help me in the long run?".   Life is all about finding our balance and it takes time and lots of patience to figure out what works best for you at the time!

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